pumpkinsforsale:

Casting director: we need the voice of pikachu to be a recognized name. It’s going to be tough to find a respectable actor wh

Ryan Reynolds: ME

Ryan Reynolds: I’LL DO IT

Ryan Reynolds: PIKA PIKA MOTHER FUCKER

im-significant:

cricketcat9:

asryakino:

lyrslair:

catalystofthesoul:

So this is just a PSA, y'all should never sign a contract until you read it. I’m talking in rl right now. I just got through reading my employee handbook/service contract and my bosses slipped in a lot of bullshit like telling me I can’t complain about my job on social media, demanding I work off the clock in the name of good service, expects me to show up on time during inclimate weather, and considered disability or religious accommodation a direct threat to the company.

These are all things I took issue with and brought to my employer for further discussion before signing the contract. Most of my coworkers signed without reading, treating it like an internet terms of service contract.

Tl;dr real life is serious shit, lawyers write contracts to protect your employer FROM YOU, read contracts before you sign them - fucking ARGUE about contracts before you sign them

Also important to note, and something my bf has repeated to me many times: a contract is a negotiation until it is signed, and YOU ARE ALLOWED TO AMEND IT. Tech companies often put some bs in there about “we own everything you make while you work for us” which broadly applied also means anything done on your own time. He always ALWAYS does write-in amendments with initial and date to state that they only own things done FOR the company, on company time, because there have been companies that enforced that bullshit when somebody had a personal side project the company decided they wanted to steal. There’s only one company that threw a fit at his attempts to amend it and he considered that a huge red flag and refused to sign, turned down the job.

Never. EVER. Sign shit without reading it. Also: if your prospective employer won’t let you take the thing home to read before you sign it and says you need to sign it then and there THAT IS A RED FLAG. The job I had that turned out to be abusive as shit was like that. Every other job I’ve been able to bring the contract home to my parents to have a more experienced set of eyes on it. It’s also common practice in some fields to have one’s attorney look over it before signing. So never let them tell you that you can’t look over it with someone else. That’s a fat load of shit. For “lower level” jobs they may not accept amendments to the contract but if they won’t even give you the proper time to read it over, they’re trying to pull some bullshit on you and you’re going to regret it if you sign. Even if there’s nothing bad in what you signed it’s an example of how they are going to treat you while you’re there. Take it to heart and run like fucking hell.

Please also tell your coworkers. Inform others. Tell everyone. Please, for the lovee of everything TELL PEOPLE THEY ARE ALLOWED TO DO THESE THINGS.

Companies BANK on the fact you’re not going to read it. Then they slip in shit like ‘you can’t talk about your wages’ because they want you to keep quiet, so thy can pay that guy six bucks, and pay the guy over there fifteen and pay you eight. They want you to accept it all blindly. PLEASE DON’T STAY BLIND.

Yes, I’ve lost out on jobs because I wanted to read it and they didn’t want me to. Or they wanted m to resign and I said no to to the things they added that I pointed out were unfair and borderline illegal. 

Read shit. Tell everyone else to read shit. BE INFORMED. 

Absolutely 100% good advice ☝🏼☝🏼☝🏼

Never ever ever sign shit without reading and re-reading it! Take it home, show it to someone more experienced, if you can, show it to a lawyer. A contract is supposed to work for both sides. A company in Toronto tried to make me sign a contract with clause that in event of me leaving the job I will not work in a similar position anywhere in Ontario. Yeah, right, not enforceable in court, dudes, you can’t prevent me from making a living. Read the shit and don’t let them intimidate you. 

also if something in your contract seems fishy, look it up or ask a friend to help you find out the relevant laws. same goes for if something your boss says seems unreasonable: for example, they can and likely will /ask/ you not to share how much you’re paid with others, but afaik it’s illegal for them to actually stop you/punish you for doing so in the US

hundondestiny:

jackmeatington:

how do you perform in the pussycat dolls and be a republican

In the midst of all these “Humans will packbond with anything” posts, I’m going to pause and give you some actual, real-world career advice

tehnakki:

deliriumcrow:

pom-seedss:

mockiato:

rainaramsay:

Ready? 

Humans are packbondy creatures.  I mean, there’s just no arguing it.  They packbond readily, and quickly, and unbelievably strongly.  Once a human has packbonded with a thing, they will do anything to help and protect that thing.  

There’s a downside to that, not often mentioned.  It uses up a lot of their time and energy to build those packbonds, maintain those packbonds, and most especially to do the work of helping and protecting those with whom they have packbonded.  It doesn’t leave them a lot of time and energy for helping other beings. 

If you want a human to help you – if you want to reliably get their best effort – you have to packbond with them first.

“Yeah? So?”
So you’re probably going to be working with humans for most, if not all, of your career.  No matter how good or bad you are at your job, there will come a time when you need someone else in your workspace to help you with something, whether that’s manning the fry station for 2 minutes while you pee, sending over those numbers from marketing, or dropping everything to teach you how to do a thing that your boss told you to do or else you’d be fired.  

Not to mention the big things.  They don’t give promotions to just their friends – at least not so much any more. Promotions go to the people who’ve completed big, visible, important projects.  It seems fair until you consider,,,, who gets the big, important, visible projects assigned to them in the first place?  

Humans give boosts to the people they’ve packbonded with.  They mention packbondee’s accomplishments to the boss (or the boss’ boss).  They cover for the mistakes of people they’ve packbonded with.  

“That’s not right! It shouldn’t be a popularity contest! It should be about who does the best –” 
Listen to me. 
Listen.

You may be right.  You may be the most correct creature to have ever spoken since the beginning of galactic civilization. 

It
does
not
matter

Humans packbond. It’s what they do. I can’t stop it. You can’t stop it.  No power in the ‘verse can stop it. This is how the human do.

All you can do is work with it. 

If you want a human to help you – if you want to reliably get their best effort – you have to packbond with them first.

“Look, I’m introverted and scared of people and I have social anxiety so I really don’t know how to –”
Hey, my pal, I feel you.  I, too, am introverted. And I have social anxiety. And I have PTSD that actually – and I recognize that this is bizarre – has ‘business networking’ as a trigger.  

For you, I have good news:
Humans will packbond with anything.  

Like, you don’t really actually have to do anything. You kinda just have to… exist. In their presence. They kinda do the rest.  

If you can talk with them, that speeds things up.  But it doesn’t have to be, like, good conversation. Like, it can totally go

You: boy, sure is hot out!
Human: Man oh man, can you believe it?
You: Wow, yeah
Human: Totally
You: ….
Human: ….

This conversation – as awkward and uncomfortable as it felt to you, has caused this human to packbond with you a little more. If you repeat it weekly, you will get good results. 

THE TAKEAWAYS

• You need to packbond with the humans you come in contact with
• Taking time to do that is not only justifiable, it is an important part of your job, and should be treated as such
• That is to say that, as much as you hate it (and believe me, I understand), you have to take time away from actual work and dedicate it to packbonding with your fellow workers

Tips

• Plan out your packbonding time. It’s easier if you can initiate than if a human springs packbonding-time on you all unexpected.  In an office job I like to use Friday afternoon, but adjust according to what makes sense to you and your situation.
• Keep some packbonding-time questions handy.  My go-to list is:
• (If it’s Monday or Tuesday) How was your weekend?
• (If it’s Wednesday) How’s your week been so far?
  
• (If it’s Thursday or Friday) Any big plans for the weekend?
• How’s your day been?
• You don’t have to care about the answers to these questions. All you have to do is remember that if the human is answering questions, they are not asking you any questions.  Therefore questions are your friend.  If you ask follow-up questions, you may be able to get through the entire packbonding time without having to do any of the talking
• Learn to disengage from packbonding.  You can use basically the same sentence (or variants on it), but you’ll want to practice it so that you can make it sound natural.  I use “Awesome! Well, I gotta get going. Have a good one!”

I know it feels overwhelming, but a few minutes of packbonding, once a week, is all you need.  Once you build it into your habits it can be no more annoying than doing dishes or showering.  

So we’re just not gonna talk about how OP is an alien anthropologist investigating the human species before infiltrating huh

“That is to say that, as much as you hate it (and believe me, I understand), you have to take time away from actual work and dedicate it to packbonding with your fellow workers”

In many of my shittiest jobs I wasn’t allowed to talk to the other employees because the bosses say we couldn’t do our jobs if we were socializing. Now that it has been phrased this way it makes me realize how not only just how life-sucking that is but also how dehumanizing.

They won’t even let us packbond.

Pretty sure that’s by design. They know you won’t talk to the bosses, much less packbond with them, but if you bond with your coworkers? Well. That’s perilously close to unionizing, but arguably more dangerous. Now you actually care about them, like with your real *heart*.

I love that this concept has gone full circle from “let’s talk about how humans interact to aliens” to “let’s look at humans through an alien lens” to “let’s use our observations about humans to now interact with other humans.” It’s exactly what scifi is supposed to make you do: challenge your assumptions about how you view the world so that maybe you can approach your world from a new POV. Just perfect.

korrasera:

enide-s-dear:

moralistically:

parisianqueen:

During the most poor and homeless period of my life, I had a lot of people get angry with me because I spent $25 on Bath and Body Works candles during a sale. They couldn’t comprehend why the hell I would do that when I had been fighting for months to try and get us on our feet, afford food, and have an apartment to live in.

Those candles were placed beside wherever I slept that night. In the morning, I would move them and set them wherever I’d have to hang out. At one point I carried one around in my purse - one of those big honking 3-wick candles. I never lit them, but I’d open them and smell them a lot.

I credit that purchase with a lot of my drive that got me to where I am today. I had been working tirelessly, 15+ hour days with barely any reward, constantly on the phone or trying to deal with organizations and associations to “get help at”. It’d gone on for almost a year by the end of it, and I was so burnt out, to the point that I would shake 24/7. But I could get a bit of relief from my 3-wick “upper middle class lifestyle” candles. They represented my future goals, my home I wanted to decorate, and how I would one day not be in this mess anymore.

When we moved into the apartment, and our financial status improved, I burned those candles every single day. When they were empty, I cleaned them out, stuck labels on them, and they became the starting point of my really cute organization system I had ALWAYS planned to have.

So whenever I hear about someone very poor getting themselves a treat - maybe it’s Starbucks, maybe it’s a home deco item, maybe it’s a video game… I don’t judge them. I get it. I get that you can’t go without anything for that long without it making you go crazy. You need to pull some joy, inspiration, and motivation from somewhere.

poor people deserve things they want, too. it is unfair to expect poor people to only buy things they “need”.

My grandfather used to tell me: if you only have 20 kr left, you buy grocery for 10 kr and flowers for the other 10 kr because you need a reason to live as well.

We are not machines and an unmet need is an unmet need.

piebutt:

rhazberriquartz:

suicunesrider:

marydaydream:

I love new designs so much

Old designs: the same woman wearing different makeup/hair/clothing

New designs: GOOD CHARACTER ARTISTRY 101

Old designs: specifically made to sell toys. Toys that only had one mold because it was cost effective. But was still a fun show.

New designs: actually gets to go full scale artistry and story telling without worrying about selling toys.

old designs: lesbians

new designs: assorted lesbians 

fredrickthepig:

leaping-hare-witchery:

missandaei:

aesterea:

more on writing muslim characters from a hijabi muslim girl

- hijabis get really excited over pretty scarves
- they also like to collect pins and brooches
- we get asked a lot of questions and it can be annoying or it can be amusing, just depends on our mood and personality and how the question is phrased
- common questions include:
- “not even water?” (referring to fasting)
- hijabis hear a lot of “do you sleep in that?” (we don’t) and “where is your hair?” (in a bun or a braid, usually)
- “is it mooze-slim or mozzlem?” (the answer is neither, it’s muslim, with a soft s and accent on the first syllable)
- “ee-slam or iz-lamb?” (it’s iss-laam, accent on the first syllable)
- “hee-job?” (heh-jahb, accent on the second syllable)

- “kor-an?” (no. quran. say it like koor-annn, accent on the second syllable)
- people tend to mess up our names really badly and you just get a sigh and a resigned nod or an awkward smile, maybe a nickname instead
- long hair is easy to hide, short hair is harder to wrap up
- hijab isn’t just covering hair, it’s also showing as little skin as possible with the exception of face, hands, and feet, and not wearing tight/sheer clothing
- that applies to men too, people just don’t like to mention it ( i wonder why)
- henna/mehendi isn’t just for special occasions, you’ll see people wearing it for fun
- henna/mehendi isn’t just for muslims, either, it’s not a religious thing
- henna/mehendi is not just for women, men also wear it, especially on their weddings
- there are big mehendi parties in the couple of nights before eid where people (usually just women and kids) gather and do each other’s mehendi, usually just hands and feet
- five daily prayers
- most muslim kids can stutter through a couple verses of quran in the original arabic text by the age of seven or eight, it does not matter where they live or where they’re from or what language they speak natively
- muslim families tend to have multiple copies of the quran
- there are no “versions” of the quran, there has only ever been one. all muslims follow the exact same book
- muslims have no concept of taking God’s name in vain, we call on God at every little inconvenience
- don’t use islamic phrases if you don’t know what they mean or how to use them. we use them often, inside and outside of religious settings. in islam, it is encouraged to mention God often and we say these things very casually, but we take them very seriously
- Allahu Akbar means “God is Greatest” (often said when something shocks or surprises us, or if we’re scared or daunted, or when something amazing happens, whether it be good or bad; it’s like saying “oh my god”)
- Subhan Allah means “Glory be to God” (i say subhan Allah at the sky, at babies, at trees, whatever strikes me as pleasant, especially if it’s in nature)
- Bismillah means “in the name of God” and it’s just something you say before you start something like eating or doing your homework
- In Shaa Allah means “if God wills” (example: you’ll be famous, in shaa Allah) (it’s a reminder that the future is in God’s hands, so be humble and be hopeful)

- Astaghfirullah means “i seek forgiveness from Allah” and it’s like “god forgive me”
- Alhamdulillah means “all thanks and praise belong to God” and it’s just a little bit more serious than saying “thank god” (example: i passed my exams, alhamdulillah; i made it home okay, alhamdulillah)
- when i say we use them casually, i really mean it
- teacher forgot to assign homework? Alhamdulillah
- our version of “amen” is “ameen”
- muslims greet each other with “assalamu alaikum” which just means “peace be on you” and it’s like saying hi
- the proper response is “walaikum assalam” which means “and on you be peace” and it’s like saying “you too”

As a Muslim this post is so very important and it makes me so happy that it gives the small facts and details that one might be unaware of or confused about.

I’ve reblogged it before but honestly this fucking post touches me so much. To see how intrinsic Allah is to followers of Islam and how ingrained He is in their daily lives is so beautiful.

Also, can we just talk about the fact that there aren’t like 100 different versions of the Quran? Because I didn’t know that and that legit AMAZES me.

LEARNING

yourfriendwren:

cannibalcoalition:

fattyatomicmutant:

cannibalcoalition:

sans–seraph:

cannibalcoalition:

traegorn:

cannibalcoalition:

“Oh I love roses! I try growing them myself, but they never get very far.”

“Would you like to know the secret to healthy rose bushes,” I asked, knowing that she would not like the answer. 

“Do tell!”

Grin. “Blood.”

The customer paused, waiting for me to say that I was kidding. But I wasn’t so it never came. She became nervous. 

And before I could explain that blood meal is a common soil fixer and fertilizer, she put her hands up, spun around and said-

“Bye.”

You want to know the secrets to a beautiful garden? You better be prepared for some weird shit. 

Well someone felt like being the ominous witch in the small, mysterious shop today.

.

…also, tomatoes like blood too.

My interest in plants extends beyond ‘oh look a pretty flower’ and straight into ‘plants are fucking metal.’ 

Evidently, you’re supposed to plant garlic in the same places as your roses because the garlic will repel a rose-specific aphid.

So what I’m saying is that between the romantic symbolism of the rose, the bloodmeal in the soil, and the fresh garlic all over the place-

You could really set yourself up for an encounter with some VERY pissed vampires. 

Roses really love banana skins, too. Just… stick one in there before you plant a rose bush or spronkle around one that’s already in  the ground. They’ll adore you. 

Mmm… blood banana. 

I made tiny ass Home Depot Petunias blossom like magic that they’re nearly overtaking the trellises.

How did I accomplish this?

Once a week I bury a small amount of leftover meat in the soil.

My morning glories loved the crap out of the charred chicken bones I gave them. They’re already an enthusiastic plant, but the blooms I had this year were extraordinary. 

One day we will own a house and I want to have a gigantic garden. I am not very good with keeping plants alive despite my efforts and so I am definitely going to keep this post as a reference for that future garden I hope to have.